BLOG

SHAPE SHIFTING LIZARD SKIN CREAM

Mark Tolson and I developed this Shape Shifting Lizard Skin Cream for our Mystic Mark Etsy shop. From the description: Shapeshifting from lizard to human form is great for controlling Earth so you can mine gold to save your dying homeworld, but it’s not so great for your skin. When you’re juggling appointments and global depopulation deadlines, you don’t have time for an exhaustive skincare regime, especially after you’ve been up all night sodomising infants on a blood-soaked altar. That’s why there’s new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting Lizard Skin Cream, for the hard-working reptilian overlord who wants to crush the human race AND look great. Revitalise dry cracked scales with the nutrifying formula, penetrating your watertight, abrasive epidermis with vitamin-enriched micro-molecules. Never again spend hours removing crusty nodules from your armoured eyelids or sandblasting your segmented underbelly. Instead, spend your life-cycle on the things that really matter to you: eating babies, manipulating financial markets and basking on rocks in the warm glow of Earth’s home star. Whichever form you’ve taken, simply lather the cream onto tough lizard scales or weak and thin human tissue. The vitamin E rich formula gets to work fast, leaving your external membrane hard, reinforced and radiant. Start each day with that “just-shed-skin” feeling! More Mystic Mark stuff on facebook or tumblr. #MysticMark #Conspirituality

READ MORESHAPE SHIFTING LIZARD SKIN CREAM

VICE INTERVIEW

I was interviewed by Karley Sciortino for VICE about my work and the effects of advertising, santa and invisible crystal energy. You can read it here. I first met the British artist Darren Cullen back in 2006, when he was handing out flyers in London for a fake holiday he’d created called Violence Week. “Fuck seeing a therapist,” he told me. “Save your feelings up for Violence Week!” Cullen’s work does a good job of continually outraging the conservative British press, who often use terms like “disturbing,” “grotesque,” and “freakish horror show” to describe his art. But they’re all clearly just right-wing stupid-heads who don’t understand that Cullen’s work is social commentary at its best, and most hilarious. While examining things like religion, advertising, and the existing moral order, his art pushes what we take for granted as being “normal” into the realm of the ridiculous. Some of Cullen’s recent creations include “Baby’s First Baby,” a pregnant baby doll complete with its own pregnant fetus; a topless Mayan calendar that counted down to the supposed 2012 apocalypse; and a “lost episode” of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos that explores the Meat Planet and its famous pork volcano. Yum? Cullen also writes for the satirical astrology column “Mystic Mark,” where he basically just highlights everything that sucks about all those power crystal, yoga planet, “vibrations” people. Oh, and he’s also shown in exhibitions alongside artists like Gilbert and George and David Shrigley, which means he’s #legit. VICE: A lot of people seem to think you’re a monster. Your “Baby’s First Baby” piece particularly pissed people off. Why do you think that is?Darren Cullen: Yeah, it’s weird. A lot of the press said the doll was disgusting because it encourages kids to have babies, and brought up the problem of teen pregnancy. But people […]

READ MOREVICE INTERVIEW

WEEGIE BOARD

I made these Weegie Boards for contacting dead weegies for the Mystic Mark shop I run with Mark Tolson. In case you’re not familiar with the term, a weegie is a type of Glaswegian. The type that asks you what the fuck you’re looking at and always wants 18p for the bus. £40 from here. Mystic Mark on Facebook #Daft #MysticMark

READ MOREWEEGIE BOARD

EXHIBITION

I have some work in this upcoming group show at the Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art in Sunderland. I’ll be showing about a dozen prints as well as Baby’s First Baby and the Placebo/Nocebo’s. I’m very excited about this; some of the other artists in the show are big favourites of mine.

READ MOREEXHIBITION

BABY’S FIRST BABY PRESS

Baby’s First Baby has been getting a lot attention recently, featured on BoingBoing, Gizmodo, The Huffington Post and Dangerous Minds. Perhaps the crowning moment however, is the story today on the Daily Mail website. I look forward to seeing what that the Mail readership make of it. It seems like the majority of commentators have misunderstood my intentions however and decided I’m making a comment on reality tv shows exploiting teen pregnancies. I’m not. It’s about the way these toys intrinsically train girls to have and care for children while they are still only children themselves. If you look in any toy catalogue the girls section is wall-to-wall babies and prams, make-up kits, kitchen sets and hoovers. We complain that children are growing up too quick, getting pregnant too early, when the only toys we give them teach kids to act like adults and prepare to have babies. It’s goes without saying that teaching young girls that these are the type of things which adult women should and do concern themselves with is also a very narrow definition of womanhood. This image in particular inspired me to make Baby’s First Baby. #Toys

READ MOREBABY’S FIRST BABY PRESS