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12 Feb 2014

Mark Tolson and I made these esoteric products for our Mystic Mark Shop. The above Homeopathic Gullibility Cure, "gets to work after only a single gulp, instantly re-energising your incredulity chakras. By building a skeptical particle wall around your naïvety gland it’s also effective at stopping quantum mechanical trickery." 

And below, Ghost Cheese is especially churned from the ectoplasm of free-range spirits, (*May contain traces of demons) 

If you like any of this we also write a monthly 'astrology' column for The Skinny magazine in the Nor...

12 Feb 2013

Mark Tolson and I developed this Shape Shifting Lizard Skin Cream for our Mystic Mark Etsy shop. From the description:

Shapeshifting from lizard to human form is great for controlling Earth so you can mine gold to save your dying homeworld, but it’s not so great for your skin.

When you’re juggling appointments and global depopulation deadlines, you don’t have time for an exhaustive skincare regime, especially after you’ve been up all night sodomising infants on a blood-soaked altar. That’s why there’s new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting Lizard Skin Cream...

15 Dec 2012

I made these Weegie Boards for contacting dead weegies for the Mystic Mark shop I run with Mark Tolson. In case you’re not familiar with the term, a weegie is a type of Glaswegian. The type that asks you what the fuck you’re looking at and always wants 18p for the bus.

£40 from here.

Mystic Mark on Facebook

2 May 2012

I've been helping Mystic Mark write his monthly 'Astrology' column in The Skinny magazine for awhile now, you can find them online here.

22 Nov 2011

I've produced a Topless Mayan Calendar to see in the end of the world in December 2012. I'm printing and assembling them myself on paper I've aged for thousands of years in my basement, so for that reason they are £12.20 including postage. More details here, or get yours below.

UPDATE: SOLD OUT

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MUSEUM OF
NEOLIBERALISM
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Open Thurs-Sun
11am - 7pm
16 Eltham Road
London SE12 8TF
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