aaarrrgghh! this morning i woke up to discover my kitchen covered in soil and broken glass. i have recently come to the conclusion that it was either those party bastards who came round and partied last night like bastards, or santa has returned and gone auto-destructive on my house. or it was me. if it was, then at least it's not as bad a predicament as an old school friend of mine recently found himself.

the character - who will remain nameless - started his job at a department store, say harrods, some six months ago. there, he was treated to a warning video of how to monitor theives operating in the shop. so, after having gleaned this, well gleaner's information, he went on to steal over £28,000 worth of stock - really - by putting it in binbags and disposing of it. then a driver would arrive and collect the expensive rubbish. anyway, he got caught. then was told they had it as video evidence. then he was taken to court. then he pleaded guilty. then he was pardoned and let off.
so, the moral of the story is don't shop at (let's say) harrod's, just work there.

since christmas came and went, and money was made then spent, i suggest simply stealing these songs (try a department store, say.. harrods) and partying all on your own with those new headphones from grandma.
here are what my ears have heard and the eyes have seen.

The Ears:

1. Everybody In The Place (the normal one, not the album one)
THE PRODIGY
2. Biology
GIRLS ALOUD
3. Skunk Rap
TROUT
4. The Platform On The Ocean
ARTHUR RUSSELL
5. Shoot Your Shot
DIVINE (Bobby O Produced)
6. I Hate You
THE MONKS
7. I Could Be Happy
ALTERED IMAGES
8. DARE
GORILLAZ DFA 12" Remix


The Eyes:

1. PLATFORM - Michel Houellebecq
2. MARGRAVE OF THE MARSHES - John Peel
3. RIP IT UP & START AGAIN - Simon Reynolds
4. THE SLEEVE NOTES - Girls Aloud

see you in harrods

*UPDATE UPDATE*
if you don't already have it you can now download I KNOW KUNG FU from our myspace site, www.myspace.com/shitdisco

I'm spending me christmas and new year over the way in Ireland. An interesting time it has been aswell. Last night found me in a small pub being accused from all sides of being a 'Jesus'. Its the beard what done it, and the hair. White Necks don't have time for no long hairs. It was good natured to start with, being asked to bless their pool shots and turn their beer into vodka, but when talk turned to crucifixion and following through with scriptures and the like, I finished my pint. The thought of being nailed to the bonnet of a mondeo in a cold, wet irish car park didn't sit too well. But luckily all the car park was used for was a brawl involving nearly every single male in the pub. They rampaged past us in a ball of masculinity, a fighting, spitting scrum of man. The way I'd imagine one of those rat balls you find up chimneys. Some of the pool playing runts even brought out the pool cues so they could go at it properly, but we intervened and put them behind the bar. We then went to a night club, a shite disco in Bundorran, Donegal. By the end of the nights booze and dancing I'd found myself called on several seperate occasions; Jesus, The Jesus, JC, Judas, Moses, Christ, The Real Oasis and Our Lord Who Died For Our Sins. Although none these similarities got me laid.

anyone seen the drummer man? as this photo goes a small way to prove, we have lost darren, along with his arms and drums. maybe it's because he's gay and got lost in soho sex shops or maybe it's just because he took the photo and is not transparent and therefore had be behind the camera to make sure we all look at it. if you see him anywhere, you should slide tackle him and then email us or just ring and say "he's there!"

to keep ourselves amused while being incredibly busy doing things we never knew had anything to do with being in a band, we have been buffing joel's head. as you can see in the painting above it's gonna be a real shiner. when joel puts on his (well, it's mine) shellsuit he blacks out. when he wakes up he is often holding a car key that he has scratched bmw's with and has a trolley full of car stereo's to sell us. what a guy.

we have just finished the recording of what will be our second single, titled "Reactor Party". it's a song about parties over in the eastern bloc that are held in disused nuclear reactors, where the threat of radiation is very real, as is the level of fun. if you're going to die, might as well have a rave before you do.

big thanks to everyone who has come to see us recently, you have made life worth living. honest. especially those who were there on purpose, and not just because you know us or went by accident. you are the REAL DEAL.

p.s. "Disco Blood" is now available to download for free on our myspace site. just give us a smile, and it's yours.
www.myspace.com/shitdisco
RAVE ON!