aaarrrgghh! this morning i woke up to discover my kitchen covered in soil and broken glass. i have recently come to the conclusion that it was either those party bastards who came round and partied last night like bastards, or santa has returned and gone auto-destructive on my house. or it was me. if it was, then at least it's not as bad a predicament as an old school friend of mine recently found himself.

the character - who will remain nameless - started his job at a department store, say harrods, some six months ago. there, he was treated to a warning video of how to monitor theives operating in the shop. so, after having gleaned this, well gleaner's information, he went on to steal over £28,000 worth of stock - really - by putting it in binbags and disposing of it. then a driver would arrive and collect the expensive rubbish. anyway, he got caught. then was told they had it as video evidence. then he was taken to court. then he pleaded guilty. then he was pardoned and let off.
so, the moral of the story is don't shop at (let's say) harrod's, just work there.

since christmas came and went, and money was made then spent, i suggest simply stealing these songs (try a department store, say.. harrods) and partying all on your own with those new headphones from grandma.
here are what my ears have heard and the eyes have seen.

The Ears:

1. Everybody In The Place (the normal one, not the album one)
THE PRODIGY
2. Biology
GIRLS ALOUD
3. Skunk Rap
TROUT
4. The Platform On The Ocean
ARTHUR RUSSELL
5. Shoot Your Shot
DIVINE (Bobby O Produced)
6. I Hate You
THE MONKS
7. I Could Be Happy
ALTERED IMAGES
8. DARE
GORILLAZ DFA 12" Remix


The Eyes:

1. PLATFORM - Michel Houellebecq
2. MARGRAVE OF THE MARSHES - John Peel
3. RIP IT UP & START AGAIN - Simon Reynolds
4. THE SLEEVE NOTES - Girls Aloud

see you in harrods

*UPDATE UPDATE*
if you don't already have it you can now download I KNOW KUNG FU from our myspace site, www.myspace.com/shitdisco