Could
there be a man alive more suited to shouting about insects than Kriss Akabusi?
An explosion of face, teeth and muscle - Kriss is a man mountain of enthusiasm.
A gifted television presenter, Kriss introduced such catchphrases as ‘Alriiight!’
and ‘Pump it up!’ to mainstream audiences for the first time.
Giving a previously intolerant Britain an insight into the vocabulary and
demeanour of the black classes. Kriss has done good work in the area of running
and jumping too. He won several medals for jumping over obstacles in the Warm
Games, representing his country with booming pride. And he used to be in the
army, during which time he killed a man.
Unfortunately, his busy schedule of motivational speeches and minor television
appearances meant that his personal assistant had to turn down my offer of
Kriss presenting and commentating on this year’s Battledrome. But rather
than pack the whole thing in, I took a moment and thought about him. Running
around, screaming and shouting. Winning a gold medal at the Olympics. Delivering
a great speech. Praying. Feeding his kids mashed potatoes on a spade. And,
y’know it gave me the strength to carry on. If Kriss Akabusi can do
it, then so can fucking I.
